Although her name was not Cinderella, Elizabeth certainly felt like a princess.

(Love the sign above the closet door!)

the mean reds...

Holly: You know those days when you get the mean reds?

Paul: The mean reds, you mean like the blues?

Holly: No. The blues are because you're getting fat and maybe it's been raining too long, you're just sad that's all. The mean reds are horrible. Suddenly you're afraid and you don't know what you're afraid of. Do you ever get that feeling?

Paul: Sure.

Holly: Well, when I get it the only thing that does any good is to jump in a cab and go to Tiffany's. Calms me down right away. The quietness and the proud look of it; nothing very bad could happen to you there. If I could find a real-life place that'd make me feel like Tiffany's, then - then I'd buy some furniture and give the cat a name!

Take one. Please!

mommie dearest...

is certainly not a title anyone would wear proudly. Unfortunately it is a title I bestowed upon myself yesterday morning. Mornings are generally pretty crazy in this house as I suspect they are in any home with school aged children. For this reason I love to get up early. I like my hour to two hour of quiet time before the children wake. I need this quiet time to be productive and to start my day on the right foot. Without it I am lost. I call this my Calm Before the Storm!

At 7:00 I wake the children and the morning frenzy begins. It begins with a mad dash for the shower and if you are not the first or second person in there you have to wait for the water tank to heat up again. (We have long shower-takers here.) Someone always needs something to wear that cannot be found and even though they wear uniforms, there is always some morning dress snafu. Always. It could be that my 5 year old wants to wear shorts even though the snow outside is as deep as he is tall. Or it could be that my daughter cannot find her plaid skirt that I placed, the night before, on the white wicker trunk in her bedroom as I told her to please hang it up. But the skirt is missing and as always, it is my fault.

The 9 year old is now out of the shower sitting on his bed dripping.  I know he is contemplating crawling back in. He is not my morning person. This is never a good thing. But this morning it is really not a good thing. He has to finish a project for school that he has known about for two weeks. A project that I have known about for two weeks. A project that I have been urging him to start for two weeks. A project that we have discussed at length for two weeks.

Now, one of the problems with working, even though I absolutely love my job, is that my time with the children is very limited these days. I don't see them much in the evening and I have been working so many weekends that I have not seen much of them then either. This is perhaps the hardest thing for me these days, especially after being home with them for the past 12 years. When I do see them it seems like I am always harping on them about their homework and projects, and since I am not around to oversee them in the daytime I get to pick up the pieces and be the mean guy. And when a project that we have known about for two weeks is still not done two days before it is due, I really become the bad guy.

As with many children and adults with ADHD there is a tendency to procrastinate. I get this and I am a great procrastinator. With big projects I have been a last minute kind of person myself. I operate well this way. I work fast and furiously to get the job done. Christopher has indeed inherited this trait. But he is not mature enough yet to know how to handle finishing things well and properly at the last minute.

As he sits on his bed dripping with his project, unfinished, looming like a large storm I start my morning yelling. And it seems not to stop until we arrive at school. His class has just finished reading From the Mixed up Files of Mrs. Basil E. Frankweiler, a great book that I loved and read when I was his age. His project was to create a museum of his own. His is a Star Wars Lego Museum. He does not have much left to do, but given the fact that he is still not dressed and we have half an hour before we have to leave has me concerned.

I am focusing all my attention on him and I must finish getting myself dressed and I must help Alexander get dressed. The kids still need to make their beds as must I. Yes, I make the children make their beds every morning. More yelling ensues. Rebecca has found her plaid skirt. In her drawer. Wadded up, of course. And she did not absolutely not put it there. So I must have. More yelling ensues. Now she is yelling at me. I finish getting myself dressed. I let Alexander get himself dressed. No, you absolutely cannot wear shorts today. Now he's yelling at me. I am the worst Momma ever and he is never ever going to listen to me again or ever do anything I ask him to do. Ever again. More yelling. Now he's yelling at me!

Kids need to brush their teeth. Kids need breakfast. Christopher needs his meds as well. He's working on his project... the finishing touches are coming into place but with just 15 minutes left on the clock I worry. And I have no time to make them a proper breakfast. And I start yelling again as the hands on the clock start speeding ahead. The kids have assembly as they do every Wednesday. And as on every Wednesday morning the parking lot at school is over-run by cars and too large SUVs. Christopher's museum is larger than life and I worry about it falling apart in the snow or as we cross the road. More yelling.

Of course we get to school and there is no parking. Anywhere. So I do what any terrible and any law disrespecting despicable person would do.  I park in one of the handicapped spaces. I leave my flashers on as an indicator that I do plan on moving the car.

I help Christopher inside and tell Alexander that once and for all he has to go into the Kindergarten classroom by himself and that he has got to stop clinging to me. I give him a gentle shove and tell him to scoot. He trudges off and the sad look in his eyes immediately has my heart crumbling into a million little pieces. I keep prodding Christopher ahead who seems to be walking in slow motion, as though he is on the moon with no gravity. I manage to get him upstairs and then learn that he is performing during assembly. Shit. Rebecca is also going to be called on stage during assembly. Shit. I still have to move the car. Shit.

I run out and move the car. I am graced with a spot just large enough for me and my too large SUV right in front. I run back in. I have missed Rebecca and barely miss Christopher. I glance at my watch. I have to run. I have a couple of emails to tend to before having to be at work in an hour.

I rush out of the school and into the car. As I approach Starbucks, where I will stop for a cup of coffee, I realize that I never said goodbye to Alexander! I never gave him his hugs and kisses and never got to tell him to have a good day. I was so distracted by the chaos of the morning that I had completely forgotten about my baby! As this dawns on me the image of his sad little face and his small little body that broke my heart a half an hour earlier now causes tears to stream down my cheeks. I feel beyond awful.

As soon as I get on line I pull out my phone and call the school and as for his teacher's voice mail. I leave a brief message explaining the chaos of the morning and as a result I had completely forgotten about Alexander. I tell her to tell him that I love him and to please give him a hug and a kiss from me. I know she will do this. She is that kind of teacher. I feel better knowing this, but still the events of the morning leave me with a very heavy heart.

Dejeuner sur la plage

Alice, upon returning from her wonderful trip to Paris which satisfied and yet fueled her appetite for fine French food and all things Hermes, decided to have a beach luncheon for her girlfriends.

What would she serve?

But, sandwiches, of course!

out of the closet...

Karen walked out of her closet, sighed and stomped her feet like a little girl.
She crossed her arms and whined.

"I have absolutely NOTHING to wear"

image courtesy maryelizabethinspire.tumblr.com

May we never lose sight at all that we do have...
big or small.
May we always be grateful...
And teach our children the same.

(And yes, it is OK to secretly covet Karen's closet!)

Perfect for cultivating your Mini Decorator or Architect...

Do you have a budding decorator or architect?

I may just have the perfect item to enhance their creative skills...
or for the rest of us with ordinary kids with way too many snow days...

How could you possibly get cabin fever with a room like this?

Image courtesy Lego Express, Tumblr

i'm leaving on a jet plane...

I can't take the winter any longer! I can't take this weather! The sub-zero temperatures, the never ending snow storms and the never ending snow days that are leaving my children zooey! I cannot look at the white powdery stuff for another moment...
so I'm booking a flight...

Somewhere...

Where should I go? 

Someplace tropical... St. Croix? St. Thomas? St. Maarten? Tortolla?
So many options from which to choose!
Where would you go?

I want hot sunny days and breezy nights...
I want to eat my breakfast outdoors overlooking the ocean...
and take my lunch at the beach and go out to dinner...
I'll delight in as much fresh and wonderful island fruits and seafood I can get my hands on! In between my eating I will rest, and perhaps take a nice slumber beneath the sun's soothing rays.

I'll enjoy a nice, fruity, tropical drink and cool off in the salty ocean. Perhaps I'll don a pair of water skis or go horseback riding along the beach... 

I'll stay someplace luxurious for sure and get pampered all day and night and I'll not have to worry about mounds of laundry to wash, fold, sort and put away...
I'll not be making meals around the clock...

I won't be cleaning the mudroom floors of sand and snow and dirt... I'll be with the masseuse...
Please do not disturb!

I'll get caught up on all my reading... 

the piles of books and magazine beside me in my straw beach bag. I'll have my iPhone and I'll send you all wonderful photos of my vacation and listen to my songs as I doze on the beach... 

I'll have plenty of sunscreen and at least two pairs of sunglasses in that beach bag as well.

I'll swim and play in the water as though I was a little girl... 

I'll watch as little fish swim up to me and nibble on my toes...

I'll have one of these and toast to you
and wish that you could all be with me!

I might even learn to surf and catch a wave!

As my vacation nears to an end, I'll be well rested and
ready to return next year!

Au revoir! 
(a girl can dream, can't she?!)

twelve

My Firstborn, my daughter...

My Princess..

You make me proud... you make me proud to be your mother...
You make me realize that my parenting skills aren't so bad after all... and I must have done something right.
Otherwise I wouldn't have such a wonderful, considerate, kind, caring, thoughtful, polite, charming little girl...
Excuse me, Big girl...
Go chase your dreams
Go reach for the stars
You can do anything you want to do
You can be anything you want to be
I'll be right behind you
or right next to you,
if you prefer,
holding your hand every step of the way...

Happy Birthday my sweetheart
You've made me so proud!

Brother Christopher tugged at our heart strings today... he made his sister a Birthday card without being asked... He made it just because...

It was this last page that got me... When the two were very young they were the best of friends. As they grew older and went to school their friendship started to dissolve. I became nostalgic for their youth. And then suddenly over the past few months they have started to rediscover each other again...

Powerless

the lights went out
the house went dark
the heat went out
the house went cold
this all happened on what has been, so far, the coldest day of the year.

we huddled together in front of the fireplace and ate sandwiches that  had picked up for up for dinner...
I put on my pajamas and crawled into my bed grateful for a warm blanket and two thick down duvets...
Alexander crawled in next to me
we turned on the flashlights
the other two crawled into their beds with laptops and e-readers
I lit some candles...
the house was dark and getting darker
the house was cold and getting colder
it was not very comfortable
in fact, it was quite uncomfortable
I sang Alexander to sleep as I do every night but last night he was curled up right next to me...
his little body providing me a great deal of warmth
on the coldest night of the year, so far.

Eventually I fell asleep to the songs on my iPod
only to be awoken an hour or so later by the failing battery in the smoke detector in the hallway.
I listened to it and tried to ignore it for two hours until I could take no more.
I hobbled out of bed. the old bones seemed older. colder
I fumbled with a stool and the smoke detector setting the entire thing off.
eventually old batteries were removed and new ones were put in their place
and I trudged back to bed in search of a peaceful slumber, glad to have my warm baby's body there waiting for me.

as the sun came up I yearned for my coffee. the children had an hour and half to be in school.
I brought them their clothes and told them that their warm bodies could warm their frozen clothes. I taught them how to dress undercovers as I did at summer camp on those cold August mornings.
to the kids it was all a game.
I promised them breakfast. at Duncan Donuts. junk food they exclaimed. suddenly they moved quickly!

as I sat, wide awake in my cold dark house last night suddenly nothing seemed important... I needed heat and warmth not fancy bags or shoes or cars... because when it comes down to it, without the basics, what is there?

the children were amused and thought this all a wonderful game. they want the power to go off every day. they want to go do dunkin donuts for breakfast every day!

the heat is on, as are the lights. i am thankful for the internet! i am thankful for my warm flannel pajamas that i placed under the vent just long enough...

i do this nightly... after my hot bath... the pajamas get placed under the heat vent in my closet on the tippity top shelf... and there is nothing better... nothing in the world... except maybe a nice glass of wine!

what's not in the bag

It's funny how many of you commented here and via email that you felt that you had gotten to know me better as we sifted through the contents of my bag and learned about the 5 things I cannot live without. Truth of the matter there is more that I cannot live without, but I had to play by the rules.

I thought I might take some time this more to tell you a little more about myself...

I need my morning cappuccino to start my day. Without it I am lost and my day is ruined. Really. I am not being dramatic. I have two every morning.

I love to get up early. Perhaps it's my old age preventing me from sleep, but I have never been much of a morning sleeper. I love my two hours of peace and quiet. I can write, blog, read emails and your blogs. Without my alone time in the morning I become the Devil!

 I love to have nice things but I am by no means high maintenance. I am easy going and laid back (with a penchant for dramatic flair on occasion!)

I am as comfortable in jeans and a (nice, crisp) white T-shirt as I am in a little black dress. In fact, I still like to play dress up!


I like to add a bit of dramatic flair to my wardrobe and home... I always make an effort to look put together when I leave the house. It lifts my mood and brightens my spirit.

I need to go to the gym every other day. If I could go daily I would. I am a grump without it.

I also love to eat and drink, hence my desire for daily workouts!

I love to cook and bake and create. And eat!

I have a glass of wine as my day unwinds. Everyday.

I have come to embrace my faults and foibles... no one is perfect

and by that same token I have never felt more self assured and self confident.

I am silly and witty, sensitive, serious and snarky...


I grew up quite privileged in Manhattan attending prestigious schools and summered in Cannes as a child and later in Italy... thanks to La Jolie Grandmere...

I studied in England for two years. I hated those two years. They were the worst years of my life.

I am outgoing and have an A Type personality. But contrary to that I can be a homebody and am just as happy curling up in front of the fire with a good book.

I love biographies and memoirs and am still plugging away at my own...

I love chocolate and good food from all parts of the world.

I love to travel.  I hate the actual act of traveling however.

I try to live my life with no regrets.

In my old age (early 40s) I have gotten much better at allowing myself to take chances and come out of my comfort zone.

I love champagne.

I love flannel sheets.

I love hot bathtubs overflowing with bubbles.

I love the beach.

I love sunsets and sunrises.

I love gardens but do not have a green thumb at all.

I love my friends. Girlfriends are important.

I am not scatterbrained but I am very easily distracted!

and because of this I need my To Do lists!

If I can't have something I want it more!

I love notebooks. I have a collection of them.

I get easily frustrated.  I am easily pleased.

I can be impulsive.

You can never have too many friends...
or clothes
or shoes
or Champagne!

Everyday I look for new things to inspire me...

I want to learn something new every day...

I take my role as mother seriously

I want to be the best role model possible for my children

I want to look back on my life and be satisfied...

I don't want to look back and say what if...

It's in the bag -- Five things I cannot live without

I've been wanting to play along with the It's in the bag blog hop but I never got my act together. I am sure that this is mostly, because I was afraid of what I would find inside my bag! Yesterday I saw that Privilege had tagged me to list the five things I cannot live without, I figure it would be a perfect way to marry the two posts. Because most of what I cannot live without lies (deep, buried) in my bag! (There are more than 5 things I cannot live without!)

My bag of late... orange makes me happy!

and everything inside!

client book...

Forgive me my dear friend in my long delay!

Sunglasses... I change these daily. These are old Lilly P shades
#1 item I cannot live without!

iPhone... I would be lost and disconnected without it.
The Lilly P cover was a Christmas present from Christopher, my 9 year old!
#2 think I cannot live without!

iPhone ear buds.
#3 thing I cannot live without
I use them at the gym to listen to my music and
CT is a hands-free state so I must use them while in the car.

Lipstick/Chapstick... I had no idea I had this many in my bag!
#4 item I cannot live without

been meaning to get a new one of these...

a writer always has to have a pen to jot down notes

These are for the car but I never took them out of my bag

If I bring my laptop with me I save all my writing on to one of these... just in case...

Vera B change purse/wallet that Rebecca gave me for Mother's Day

inside the Vera B change purse... my lifesaver!

I suppose these are #5 on my list of things I cannot live without...

Agenda notebook... scatterbrains like me need these for important dates,
To Do Lists... and wine lists ;)

this must belong to a certain little blond haired boy!

Make up bag that belonged to La Jolie Grandmere... I like to freshen if I go to the gym before work
and sometimes in the middle of the day

the above are all the contents of make up bag...

(Not inside my bag) my watches...
would be #6 on my list... I cannot live without a watch on my wrist!

and

my Mac Daddy pearls would be #7 on the list of things I cannot live without!
This is for you Beantown Prep!