I'm a Bitch and my daughter is a Snob...

I'm a hardass. Parent that is. I am tough (especially on the older two) and believe in certain rules and regulations in terms of conduct, dress and respect (which is really part of conduct.) As you all know I'm a yeller as well. I want the best from my children and expect the best from them. I want them to be respectful of their peers, elders and community. It's not an option. My children are supposed to make their beds daily. Clear the table. Set the table (unless they are busy doing homework) and put their laundry away. Every so often we ask them for help in other areas. They can whine and gripe all they want, but it's their duty as members of this family to help us out. Yes we have certain rooms the children cannot enter. The dining room and living rooms are out of bounds unless we allow them in. They rule the rest of the house, unfortunately. Their toys are permitted in the play room, their bedrooms and an armoire in the family room. They still manage to sneak into bathrooms, kitchens, hallways... I am forever cleaning and picking up after them. It gets old and tiring. I've a new house keeper scheduled to start next week. But this is not the answer to my problems. She will do the deep cleaning that I simply have no time for. I will continue on with the mundane daily stuff. I have to clean the bathrooms daily. I have 2 boys. 'Nough said. I have to vacuum the downstairs of a large house daily. Even though shoes must be removed and left in the mudroom stuff gets tracked in. Especially this time of year. It cannot be helped. I understand this. Crumbs are constantly dropped and left under the kitchen table. This can be helped, but it continues to happen. I harp on them about their table manners. I do mean harp. I see their friends and know that they are (slightly) better and that truly appalls and frightens me. It's not always fun and games at my dinner table. But my children are a reflection of me. Pleases and thank yous no longer suffice for my older two (according to me.) Just to give you a bit of insight into my way of thinking...

Today the kids had a half day of school. Christopher went off to a friend's house and Rebecca had a friend here. Both play dates were unexpected and very welcome. Since I hadn't had a chance to tidy up I did so while the girls were upstairs. This included emptying the sink, dishwasher, tossing a load into the wash, a load into the dryer and my daily vacuum.

I made the girls some lunch and hopped on to my laptop in the family room. A short while later Alexander wanted lunch and the girls wanted a snack. I made Alexander a sandwich and let the girls snack on some of the peanut butter cup cookies (on my food blog) I had baked a couple of days earlier. A little while later the girls were upstairs and I went into the kitchen to put Alexander on the children's laptop. That's when I noticed the crumbs. Not just one or two but a whole mess of them. I was irate. I nearly blew a gasket. No reason my floor should look like that an hour after vacuuming. So I yelled at Rebecca. In front of her friend. I didn't care. I don't care. I told her to get the vacuum and clean up her mess. I did. In front of her friend. I told her she was a young girl and not an animal. And she could have gotten herself and Grace a plate. A napkin at the very least.

I could hear her think "Oh my God. What a bitch!" And you know what? I don't care. I demand respect and care from my children.

So then her friend left and I told her that I found the cutest outfit for the holidays. It was quite by accident. She has requested a Lilly dress for Thanksgiving. I promised and she will get one. But I haven't found one that would be suitable (warm enough) for our New England weather. All I have seen so far is resortwear. I digress... So I found this adorable skirt and sweater. Tres chic. A real party skirt. But as I said it was not a place where I normally buy my children's clothes. I am just not that fond of their styles. But both boys needed navy socks for school. And who can beat 6 pairs for $10! And then I passed by the skirt and the sweater. And I almost didn't pick them up. But they were so lovely and the skirt is so incredibly well made.

Below is the sweater. Simple with light embellishments at the top.

This is the skirt that I think is to die for! Who can resist a dotted swiss and a beautiful wide sash?


and this is why she didn't like it!


She asked if I would cut out the label! She asked if I would sew another one into its place!!
Oh. My. God. Where have I gone wrong???

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And speaking of Bitches and Snobs... It seems as though there is a confusion as to what it means to be "Preppy." Some of my favorite blogs/bloggers have received some rather nasty comments. For no reason whatsoever.

I got an email from my friend Beth (Dunn) yesterday. She was terribly upset after a comment was left on her blog. I headed over, read it, and left a (hopefully diplomatic) reply. I thought the comment was nasty and unwarranted. Beth has her blog for fun. She does not take it or herself too seriously and allows us to laugh with and at her, and ourselves. One reader (troll) took everything a bit too literally and spewed some nastiness. I mean if I don't like a blog I don't visit it. Simple enough.

Another one of Beth's reader commented that she was not sure what Preppy was. I left her a comment in hopes that I could best explain. I am going to post the same comment here but first I want to preface my comment by saying these girls in the preppy blog world have been so warm, welcoming and embracing. They were there for me when I needed morale and support. I also want to say that I have many, many different types of friends. I love them all for who they are and what they are and for as different as they are.

Now here was my reply:

Dear Confused,

Preppy is a way of thinking and being... it is a lifestyle and a way of dress...

It is not a "cult" or "group" or "clique" nor is it exclusionary. It's just a way.

I actually consider myself to be more of a Classic girl (New England prep falls into that category) and there are different types of preps around the country. West Coast varies from the Southern which varies from the New England.

As different as they (we) all are, we embrace everyone. We just love to live a good life and have fun. I happen to love Lacoste and wear Lilly in the summertime. In New England Wintertime it's jeans, corduroys and lots and lots of sweaters!

Preppy is an attitude of pride and self confidence. Preppy is an upbringing, to some extent.

I believe one can be preppy even though one's parents aren't. You also do not need to be a WASP to be preppy. My parents are Jewish and though they would never dare admit it, they are preppy to a fault.

I have a friend who is preppy with a Capital P but doesn't have an enormous bank account by any means, hell, neither do I!!!!

Preppy does have to do with traditions and manners and proper upbringing but not in a snobby manner. I have (and have had) many sublimely rich friends who are anything but preppy! Preppies, for the most part, are not terribly showy. Though preppies do love to shop.

Here, from Wikipedia... pretty much sums it up!

Preppy, also spelled preppie, is a shortened version of the word preparatory. It is a chiefly North American adjective or noun traditionally used in relation to northeastern private university-preparatory schools, as well as those who attend Ivy League or other prestigious colonial era colleges and universities. The term is used to denote a person seen as characteristic of an attendee of these schools.[1] Characteristics of preppies include a particular subcultural speech, vocabulary, accent, dress, mannerisms, and etiquette.

The word is particularly well-known amongst American teenagers, as it is quite often used to refer to a particular subculture present within most populous American high schools: the traditionally "popular kids", generally consisting of the children of middle to upper class families, typically characterized (especially by Hollywood in films such as "Never Been Kissed", "She's All That", etc.) as a shallow, transparent group, who are primarily concerned with extrinsic things, the three most obvious of which are probably popularity (generally within their own high school), physical appearance and material possessions. Although, when used in this sense, the word is considered slightly more "slang-ish".

Please, only kind words if you care to comment!

Have a Preppy Halloween!!

I am going to be the Wicked Witch of the (Name of my town!)
I bought this hat on sale at AC Moore yesterday. Isn't it divine?!

I'll be wearing my Ruby Slippers, of course.
Of course the Wicked Witch shops at Talbots!
All preppy witches shop there, didn't you know?

And this will be my method of transportation for the night...
Note to self. Head to Village Store to get town bumper sticker to put on my "wheels"!!!

But before I can put on my costume I will have a lot to do in the day time. Perhaps I will wear my new Lilly sunglasses that I picked up from Marshall's for $30! All good preppy witches wear shades. And yes, witches love Lilly too!

Aren't they gorgeous?!!!!

And I'll deck my halls with boughs of grosgrain!
(And maybe my hat and broom too!)

I'll toss this perfectly pumpkin colored sweater (Cynthia Rowley, cashmere, bargain Marhsall's!) over a pair of jeans and a white T-shirt and my little orange flats!

It's supposed to be chilly out this weekend so I'll need something warmish as we take the kids Trick Or Treating and head off to a party.
Seasonable October temperatures.
I'll have to wear my Pumpkin colored jacket.
Preppy Witches are just so mad about plaid!

How will YOU have a Preppy Halloween?

This post is dedicated to Beth Dunn XOXO!!!

Pumpkin Spice Play Doh! (Pre-school Halloween Party Favor)

Just when you thought I had enough Pumpkin Spice!

I had to scramble to come up with something for 16 preschoolers for their Halloween party at school. Alexander refuses to walk in to the party store with me anymore. (It's a bit gory there this time of year.) And since we were stuck together this week my options were limited. And I don't do chachkis. And I didn't want something that would get tossed immediately. Nor did I want to spend a fortune. I have three class parties after all. So I remembered the Play Doh I made last year for Valentine's Day and how it was such a success. So that was my plan. Orange Play Doh with Halloween shaped cookie cutters.

So this morning, in the pouring rain, I dragged Alexander (kicking and screaming) to A.C Moore. I bribed him. Told him I would get him something. Something turned in to many things, but this kept him well behaved!

There I went looking for cellophane bags in which to put my Play Doh. I also found some pretty ribbon and cookie cutters on sale. Everything else I had at home. For those of you doing some last minute Halloween craft shopping AC Moore is running a 60% off sale on all things Halloween, including Martha Stewart's items. Worth a look-see for sure!

So we went home and Alexander passed out. (Yay!) I got to cooking the Play Doh and adding the orange. And that's when I got the craziest idea. I don't love the smell of the home made stuff. Not that it's bad, but I thought... what if... What if I added just a dash of Pumpkin Pie Seasonings? And so I did! And you can smell it ever so slightly! Next time I am adding more!

I prepared enough dough for 16 four year olds, placed the dough and the cookie cutters in the cellophane bags, printed out directions that I pasted on to index cards and tied them with white and orange ribbon. What a nice home made Halloween treat!


Recipe for Play Doh (I doubled this for 16 children)

2 cups of flour
2 cups of water
4 teaspoons of cream of tartar
2 teaspoons of oil
1 cup of salt
A few drops of food coloring (optional)
A shake or two of sparkles (optional)
Cinnamon or Pumpkin Pie Spice (optional)

Cook over low heat until the dough becomes firmer.Remove from pan and knead away!

(The dough will stick to the pan but after a short soak the flour mixture will wash right off!)

Oh Shoot Me Now!

I did the dumbest thing. The dumbest thing. EVER!

As Alexander was falling asleep at the table struggling to keep his eyes open while eating his salad and olive and rosemary focaccia bread I suggested we go upstairs after dinner and I would give him a little cold medicine. It's been 3 long nights (for both of us) with his struggling to breathe in his sleep. I figured a little of the long-lasting purple liquid would help us out for the night. He's very agreeable to taking his medicine. I explained that I wanted him well rested so that we could go to his field trip to the farm tomorrow. (Because even though we are an hour outside of NYC we don't live near enough horses and cows... but that is besides the point!)

He felt cool to the touch as he had all day. But still I wanted to take his temperature to be sure. I recently bought this fancy little thermometer (oral) that reads your temperature in 30 seconds flat. It also lights up and turns green if your temperature is within the normal range, and red if it is high. Well, it turned red. Dammit. 100.3. Not alarmingly high by any stretch of the imagination. And frankly I was surprised. This kid was bouncing off of the walls and driving me bananas all day long! I mean this kid is well and he is fine. But he still had a fever. Which means he can't go to school again tomorrow. Which means he'll drive me bonkers and bananas another day. Which means we'll be stranded here again. Why oh why oh why oh why?

And if he has a fever again tomorrow it means he'll miss out on his Halloween party on Thursday... and if he has a fever again tomorrow it means I will miss out on my hair appointment (that I had to reschedule from today)... and my husband was out again this evening...

So I told Alexander that he could not go to school tomorrow. (Really wishing I had never taken his temperature and believing that everything was AOK.) And Alexander got up, stood on my head and did the Touchdown Dance thrusting his little hips and derriere like a 400 pound Quarter Backer. Seriously, he is NOT sick!

So I'm thinking... I'm thinking that maybe I'll take him. We'll be driving in my car with no other children. And we'll be outside the whole time. And I'll keep him away from others... I'm thinking that (unless it rains) the fresh air will do us both good...

Thoughts???

Nice Jugs, Baby ;) A Fun Halloween Project for All Ages!

First you start off with your nice jug, baby ;)




and then you take a black Sharpie or other good black marker and draw a face on your jug,



Then you add a little grosgrain because your cute jug needs to get prepped out a little!



and you can add the word Boo! to it too, if you would like...

and you can have a little milk jug party and decorate your school's foyer with your Nice Jugs, Baby!

(For a fun, nighttime effect you can string white Christmas lights into the jugs and light them up. This gives the the jugs a fun and delightful non-fright!)

Looking for some more fun Halloween crafts? Spectacular Painted Pumpkins are fun for adults and older kids (and messy with little ones!) And if you are looking for something easier, we love to make these little Jack O Lantern Votives..a great project for all ages!

I'm sure we'll be crafting some more. Alexander is now fever-free but still has a terrible cough and runny nose. He's better off here at home with me for a while... He's supposed to be going on a Field Trip to a wonderful farm tomorrow. The trip is on rain or shine, but given his health we won't be going if the weather doesn't cooperate. The oven's been working on overtime, and will continue to be as long as I am stuck home with him, in the kitchen so be sure to check the food blog as I will be posting those soon too! I really don't want these goodies in my home, so let me know if you want any goody bags!

Playing Nurse to Buzz Lightyear (and blogroll update)

Isn't that the cutest costume? Doesn't he make the cutest little Buzz? He had to put it on the minute it came and he has practically been wearing it since! He knows he has to be careful and take care of it as he will not get a replacement if something happens to this one. But I'm afraid that Buzz won't be getting out of his jammies today. Yesterday he spiked a fever. A high fever. And 4 hours after his initial dose of Motrin it climbed to 103! Yikes! We've been feeding him lots of fluids, and at one point he asked for some vanilla ice cream. He has a cough, runny nose and the general aches and pains that come along with ... flu? So of course I have to look up his symptoms and go on over to the CDC website. And everyone is in a panic and here I am and reading this scary stuff and don't know what to do. My gut tells me that this is not "it" and yet I would like to have him tested. On the other hand I would like to keep him isolated from the other germs in that pediatric sick child waiting area.




I'm not entirely sure what to do. I'll watch him closely over the next couple of hours and decide. I have a painter coming at 10:00 to give us an estimate and I would like to keep that appointment. I have an appointment to get highlights tomorrow I am going to have to cancel. A bit bummed about that a I have already let myself go too long. But I'm obviously not going anywhere these next couple of days so I guess it doesn't matter... I'll stay home and make some chicken soup... Would I stoop so low as to wear my pink polka dotted pajamas to school?

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I need, desperately, to update my blogroll! Many of you are in my reader and I am following your blogs but I do need to add you all to my blogroll. If you are a reader, new or old, with a blog and want to be added to my list of favorite reads just leave a comment and be sure to include your site!

Lucky. Never Say Never: These Boots Were Made For Walking!

First of all, I consider myself lucky. Our house was "chosen" by millions (Ok, thousands) of little lady bugs trying to seek shelter from the cooler weather. We have been hit by the lady bug infestation. And I do not mind it one bit! Rebecca first noticed the little red beetles on Thursday afternoon. So I had a look outside and there were thousands upon thousands swarming... by the front door, side door, garage and back of the house. It was an incredible and amazing sight! We are wooded, rocky and our house is beige. These are all conducive to good ladybug shelters. I love ladybugs and always have. We have always considered them to bring luck. Most of them managed to stay outside (confirming that our house is well sealed!) save for about a dozen that came in under the front door where the weather stripping needs to be replace. We have a 2 story foyer and they're hanging out at the top looking out the window enjoying, I am sure, the magnificent scenery outside. I welcome these little cuties that will protect my garden from evil. Please make yourselves comfy. The attic would be the best place for you.

I rather hate being a solo parent on the weekends. But it's only fair as I was the one who got to run away last weekend. My husband had a conference and I was stuck at home with the kids. Bickering fighting screaming kids. On a windy and rainy Saturday. Kids + Bickering + Being cooped up indoors = 1 Bad Mix! I managed to pique the interest of two out of three by suggesting a trip to Stew Leonard's dubbed The World's Largest Dairy Store...but it's really so much more including being the largest carbo-loading-sweet-bakery where my kids can eat their weight in sweets and carbs. But the Littlest One did not want to go. He did not want to leave the house.

I got up and showered and told the others to get ready as well. After I was dressed (after spending what seemed like hours trying on clothes) I came down to find all but the Littlest One dressed. Not that I would call what Rebecca was wearing suitable attire, but it was rainy and gross out so I let her pink sweatshirt and grey fleece pants go this time.

Alexander declared that he was not getting dressed. So I told him "Ok, fine. Just put your boots on. We're outta here!"

To which Rebecca replied "You are not seriously letting him go out like that!"

To which I replied "Well, I am letting you go out like that!"

To which she replied "But I am dressed at least!"

To which I replied " But sometimes you wear those to sleep."

To which she rolled her eyes then said "But he's wearing pajamas. With Santa Clauses all over them!"

To which I replied "He's four!"

And because she can never have the last word she informs me that I would never have let her go out in pajamas. And she is probably right.

And because I can never have the last word I inform her that she used to wear her costumes and tutus out all the time.

And because she has to have the last word she tells me that was different, it was cute!

And it was!

"And Alexander is cute," I tell her. And he is. But she is so right. I never in a million years would have let them out of the house in their pajamas. Never. But I am older. And it seems a good deal lazier. And I have certainly learned to pick my battles. Because with three kids there are way too many of them. And you have to admit it... there is something funny about a little kid wearing Christmas pajamas just before Halloween! Nevermind that they are also mismatched. A size 6 top from The Children's Place with a pair of size 3 bottoms that are way too short from The Gap. At least he had on his Dalmation rain boots....

and not these!!!




I was being a lame mother watching television and half asleep. I heard him in the corner but was too tired and too lazy to see what he was up to. When I finally got up to see what potential danger he was tinkering with this is what I found!





Yes, I stopped him before he could go any further!

Don't Drink and Fly!

My love of napkins is evident even this time of year! I have a collection of fun and whimsical napkins in paper and cloth. Some are inexpensive from Target and Party City. Some are Caspari. I love them all and they certainly add a festive flair to any get together, whether it means having a girlfriend over for a cocktail or a larger crowd!

The following items can all be found on The Food Network Website:

I love this cake and think there is nothing corny about it whatsoever!

These little arachnids are really rather cute, aren't they?!

Er, excuse me waiter, there's a spider in my drink!




Candy Corn Cocktail gives the little candy a bit of sophistication!

Light my fire!

I have a little confession to make. I'm not, and haven't been much in the Halloween spirit this year. Normally the house is decked out with pumpkins and whimsy. This year I have a few items on the table in the foyer to please the children. But I haven't gotten that Halloween itch. Perhaps it is because the stores have gotten a bit out of control with the spookiness and goriness. Kids are scared to go into many of these places. And frankly, who can blame them? Halloween, I thought, was more about the little kids dressing up and knocking on doors and asking for candy. That's what I like about it. But lately I have seen one too many bloody corpse, headless horseman and others belonging to R rated films than a party store. Sure the adults should be able to have fun with Halloween too, but not at the expense of little children. These Party Superstore Warehouse places ought to be responsible as well. Perhaps separating the young Halloween items from the older, scarier ones. I don't see why Little Red Riding Hood's costume should be on the same aisle's as Freddy from Elm Street's. And while we are on the subject of costumes. If you haven't shopped for a preteen yet, well you are in for a rude awakening. Everything out there is slutty. And trashy. Everything. Little Red Riding Hood might as well be Little red Riding Ho... and Dorothy is Doro-Ho... Seriously! It's disheartening. I know my days of dressing Rebecca up as Madeline, Cinderella and the little fairy are over, but Slut White is not an option for her either! Sheesh!

the cursing mommy confesses...

I like to see other moms losing it and yelling and getting frustrated with their children. I'm serious. Because everyone pretends not to raise their voices and to have the patience of saints. Because everyone pretends that Nick Jr. is on for educational purposes. Because everyone claims to practice reading, writing and 'rithmetic with their children on a daily basis. Because everyone pretends that arts and crafts are fun. And these same people play the same board games for hours on end and read the same stories over and over and over again. And they don't mind and they don't whine and they even enjoy it.

And I might have been this mom with my firstborn. I was practically perfect. But now, after three, I am perfectly imperfect. And I am perfectly impatient. Perhaps it's because after 10 years the novelty of this parenting stuff has worn off. Perhaps it's because I have more kids than hands. Perhaps it's because I have a hard time managing three kids, their schedules, meals, clothes, activities, sports and play dates.

I yell at my kids. I yell a lot. I yell in the morning when they will not get out of bed, or shower or dressed and they have had 3 dozen rational warnings. I yell when they do not come to breakfast when asked. I yell when they are busy fighting at breakfast time instead of eating. I yell when they won't come to the back door, or when they are standing around doing nothing instead of putting on shoes, coats and backpacks. I yell when, as we've just walked out of the house, someone has forgotten a book, a piece of sports equipment or a gym bag. I yell when it's 8:30 and we are supposed to be at school, not in the house. I yell a lot. Because sometimes gentle reminders don't work. Because sometimes nothing lights a fire under their bums like a good yell. I yell because I have no patience.

I yell when they fight and won't stop. I yell when they won't pick up their clothes or make their beds or put their toys away after I have asked them repeatedly, over and over and over again. I yell when they spill all over the floor or when they trek dirt in the house because they haven't removed their shoes. I yell when they leave lakes of water on my bathroom floor. I yell when they leave dirty socks behind the pillows on the couch. I yell because after a lifetime in my house, my kids can't remember anything. I yell because I am a mom. I yell because I am human.

I used to spend hour after hour reading to my kids. The same books over and over and over again. And I used to play the same games over and over and over again. And 10 years ago I found it all rather boring. And I still do. But I loved arts and crafts. And the kids would make fabulous projects and gorgeous paintings. I didn't mind spending a half an hour getting everything ready for a project that would last 5 minutes. But suddenly I have developed a hatred for paint, glue, glitter, Play Doh and anything else that makes a mess. Perhaps it is because my artist is now 10 and the boys don't get the same enjoyment that she did. Truthfully, instead of seeing potential masterpiece, I see potential mess.

Keeping up with my home... cleaning, laundry, cooking, shopping, shuttling, caring... has become all consuming. It's boring tedious stuff. I spend so much time doing this that when the kids come home I just want to rest. But I can't. There's still more to be done. But not enough time for play. And that is entirely my fault. I'm afraid Alexander watches too much television. I'm afraid they don't eat enough fruits and vegetables anymore. I'm afraid I've started letting Rebecca go to school in a wrinkled uniform.I'm afraid I am starting to become one of "those" parents.

Somewhere along the line I've lost sight of what's important. I need to start putting in more effort. I'm afraid that I am going to lose my chance. Alexander is now only home 3 afternoons a week. They've been nondescript, run of the mill afternoons. This is it. Next year he'll be in Kindergarten and in school 5 long days a week. And while I am tired and bored of the same old song and dance, this is my chance, my last chance. And I am this close to blowing it. And I cannot fuck it up. I would be so upset with myself. These are the days that we have together. These are the days for our one on one time. There are memories to be made. And we are... I am wasting them away. I was going to send Alexander to lunch bunch on Wednesdays next semester thinking that he would love a third full day. But I have decided not to do so. I have decided that where he really needs to be, is home with me. I have decided that I will hire someone to come and clean and I will spend these final moments with Alexander. And we'll go places and do things together. And yes, I will bring back out the Play Doh and the glitter and the glue... the markers and crayons and scissors. And we'll make a mess and we'll have fun. Because I am losing my last chance. And then there won't be any going back.

I've been so consumed with myself and doing things for me as a person, finding my own passions again. And there is nothing wrong with that. It's important, but I cannot lose sight, as I go about pursuing my interests and passions, of my role as a mother. These two roles are equally important to me. But I have a lifetime ahead of me to pursue my dreams while my time as a mother of a preschooler still fiercely dependent on me is numbered. We can't go back in time. Nor does time stand still. Instead is flies past with incredible speed. Blink and it is gone. While I won't ever promise to stop yelling, I vow to become, once again, that mom I once was... I vow to try to become that (almost) perfect mom again.

Autumn Snow Storms & Pumpkin Spice Lattes with Michael Buble (College Reunion final installment)

I have only ever been away from the kids one night in 10 years. Alexander wasn't even born. We went away for our 5 Year Anniversary to a resort about an hour away. So my leaving was new to the kids as well as myself. Rebecca was worried. Alexander seemed not to mind until it was his bedtime and I could see the tears in Christopher's eyes as I kissed him goodbye. He ran right upstairs. To his bedroom to cry, he told me later, when I returned. And I would be lying to say that I didn't have tears in my eyes when I kissed them goodbye and pulled out of our driveway. This was new to me too. But I knew the kids would be fine. And I knew I needed some time away and I knew I would have a fabulous weekend.

Much like college life, our little weekend retreat was so far from reality. No demands, pressures or stress from the outside world. No bills to be paid, deadlines to meet, chores or errands. Just a handful of close friends, some wine, food and a lot of shared laughter. We woke up on Sunday morning to dismal weather. Freezing rain knocked upon the window panes. We were sheltered from the storm with mugs of coffee to keep us warm. Like all good things, this too needed to come to an end. And the rain turned to snow. Snow! A New England Autumn Snow Storm! Isn't that crazy?

This big, white October snow, meant I needed to start my journey home a good while before dusk. I bid my girlfriends all fond farewells. We all promised never to let so much time pass us by again. I climbed into my big white truck and hit the road. But first a stop to Starbucks for a much needed cup of coffee to keep me awake. I picked up my Pumpkin Spice Latte (grande, 1%, no whip) and Michael Buble! I'd surely need some company on such a yucky day!

I climbed back into my truck, put on my CD and Michael sang the day away! (The CD is amazing. Phenomenal!)

The weather was gloomy and getting worse. The small white flakes were growing larger in size and falling with more gusto. I felt safe in my truck. Warm with my coffee and comforted by the music. At first I minded not that the traffic crawled a 15 mph for a great deal of the way. I was at peace, completely relaxed, content and happy. There were no children in my car bickering, whining and fighting. Outside the scenery was breathtaking. Bright, fiery oranges and reds and ochres formed a magnificent backdrop for the swiftly falling white snow.





What should have been a 2 hour drive ended up being double that. But every minute of it was worth the trip!

And my greeting on the other end was nothing less than divine. The first to come to me was Rebecca upon hearing the garage door open. She hugged me and wouldn't let go. I was told I could never go away ever again. And then Christopher and Alexander both greeted me with the same gusto and fervor. In the family room they made me a wonderful, multi-colored paper chain which hung from one side of the room to the other. And a large banner that said Welcome Home!!! I hadn't expected this at all. They survived. Daddy survived and the house survived. This homecoming sure makes me want to go away and come back again!

The Ultimate Preppy Cartoon Strip (Reunion part II)

One of the highlights this reunion weekend was chillin' with the girls at my friend Lori's house... wine and photo albums and yearbooks. Old photos are funny. Old photos of the late 80s are superbly, fantastically hilarious. Poofy hair and paisley and stirrup pants and everything else wrong with the 80s were so much fun to poke fun of... as were old boyfriends, haunts and jokes. As I was perusing a yearbook I found these! My old cartoons! Twenty years old and they could still be applicable today. My comments are hilarious. You may want to click on the actual pictures themselves to enlarge them to read them better. So many people loved them. I had no idea! Since so many of you have commented on my recent attempts, I thought I would share these with you all!





They're timeless, aren't they? The flats in the above picture were Papagallo. How I miss that store! The shoes in the picture above (Tretorns) must be the pair I still have.... could they really be? I don't remember replacing them. And look, even back then I was into boyfriend jeans and sweatshirts!

This One's For the Girls! (Reunion Weekend, Part One)

(I'm standing under the tree we planted for our dear friend Mandy who tragically passed away in a plane crash about 15 years ago, and next to my sophomore year roomie, wearing those "loud" JCrew pants... Um, is it me or do they look like a set of Grandma's curtains!?)

There is nothing as special as the magic of girl friends. There is nothing so powerful as the magic of girlfriends. Especially college girlfriends. These friendships are forces to be reckoned with! These are the friendships that stand the test of time. No one knows you -- your strengths, weaknesses and foibles as well as these friends. Through thick and thin, good and bad these girls have been with you during the four most formidable years of your youth. You learned, you grew and you blossomed together. Often with glitches along with way. But with unfaltering support and love during those years. These girls have seen you at your best as well as your worst. They've offered support, encouragement, praise and congratulations. You've shared laughter and tears... and often the tears were from laughter.

I graduated from college 20 years ago. I can't believe it! I don't really feel a day older than when I left. (Except for the subtle pains and stiffness here and there.)

In 20 years we have seen a lot in life. We have dealt with a lot of life. Good and bad. Some of us have seen each other fairly regularly. Some of us communicate regularly. And some of the girls I have not seen in 10 and 20 years. How can that be? To share such personal moments in such close quarters and then to lose contact with the flash of a light?

We went to school in Boston. But we now live all over the country. We are busy with our lives and our daily grind. And we focus on the here and the now. But we never forget. This weekend was a testament to that!

What amazes me most is that we picked right up from where we left off. Nary a wrinkle or gray hair we look pretty damned good. We settled immediately into conversation, and never stopped for air. We stopped just to wipe tears away from laughter. It was all good. The kindness and warmth and genuine affection we all still have forever. While it might mot be on the forefront of our minds, it's still there and it never really left us.

We left our college and room mates, suite mates and dorm mates. We never left the love and the memories. We have moved on and started careers and families and new lives. But we certainly never left anyone behind.

I almost did not make it to this wonderful celebration of friendship, love and life. At the last minute I decided to take off and took the truck and headed north to Chestnut Hill, MA. My car did not know the way and admittedly much of my surroundings were hazy. Until I pulled in to campus... to the main house and saw a group of girls who looked and sounded like they were my group of girls, hobbling along the cobblestones in their heels... and then I knew I had come home! I had come home to my girls!

Our weekend together was magical and magnificent and reminded us just how special we are all. We won't let so much time pass ever again.

This one is for the girls... those of you who were with us physically as well as those of you who were with us in spirit!

Cheers!

I love you all!

(I posted this so you could see what I wore the following day! My favorite ruffle sweater, gray JCrew Tshirt... Winter white old navy stretch velveteen jeans and silver TBs... we're going through yearbooks)

One of my very bestest bffs... through college and after...
we lived together off and on over the course of 5 years!

...and this is the song I dedicate to you, and girlfriends everywhere!!

This One's For the Girls, Martina McBride

This one's for all you girls about thirteen
High school canbe so rough, can be so mean
Hold onto, on to your innocence
Stand your ground when everyone's giving in

This one's for the girls

This is for all you girls about twenty-five
In a little apartment, just trying to get by
Living on, on dreams and spaghetti-o's
Wondering where you life is gonna go

This one's for the girls
Who've ever had a broken heart
Who've wished upon a shooting star
You're beautiful the way you are
This one's for the girls
Who love without holding back
Who dream with everything they have
All around the world
This one's for the girls

This is for all you girls about forty-two Tossing pennies into the Fountain of Youth Every laugh, laugh line on your face Made you who you are today
This one's for the girls
Who've ever had a broken heart
Who've wished upon a shooting star
You're beautiful the way you are
This one's for the girls
Who love without holding back
Who dream with everything they have
All around the world
This one's for the girls

Yeah, we're all the same inside (same inside)
From 1 to 99

This one's for the girls
Who've ever had a broken heart
Who've wished upon a shooting star
You're beautiful the way you are
This one's for the girls
Who love without holding back
Who dream with everything they have
All around the world
This one's for the girls
Yeah, this one's for the girls

a Tag... for and about Moi!

I am off to Boston in a few hours to see my bestest college girlfriends. I am so excited I can hardly stand it! Some of these girls I haven't seen in 10 years, others in 20! Imagine that!

By the time this posts I will be on my way home from a fabulous weekend!


Mama Bickie from Biscuits are Never Boring tagged me. Thanks Mama!!!

I will tag 6 people and those 6 will have to tag 6 more... you can use only one word answers.

1. Where is your cell phone? car

2. Your hair? blonde-ish

3. Your mother? petite

4. Your father? Mayor

5. Your favorite food? cookies

6. Your dream last night? Boston

7. Your favorite drink? champagne

8. Your dream/goal? novelist

9. What room are you in? Kitchen

10. Your hobby? photography

11. Your fear? unknowing

12. Where do you want to be in 6 years? happy

13. Where were you last night? home

14. Something that you aren’t? tall

15. Muffins? pumpkin

16. Wish list item? granite

17. Where did you grow up? Manhattan

18. Last thing you did? packed

19. What are you wearing? jeans

20. Your TV? off

21. Your pets? children ;)

22. Friends? LOVE

23. Your life? crazy!

24. Your mood? excited

25. Missing someone? Bettina

26. Vehicle? Lexus SUV

27. Something you’re not wearing? shoes

28. Your favorite store? JCrew

29. Your favorite color? periwinkle

30. When was the last time you laughed? recently

31. Last time you cried? yesterday

32. Your best friend? many

33. One place that I go to over and over? school

34. One person who emails me regularly? Amy

35. Favorite place to eat? Splash


I tag: Henley on the Horn, My Social Climbing friend Beth, Pinot After Playdates, Tickled Pink Talk, Preppy Sue, The Preppy Apron and A Place to Dwell

have you ever been afraid?

and I don't mean afraid of the boogey man or of some scary movie on television, but something that stopped you dead in your tracks... Something so deep and all-consuming that nothing else seemed to matter or exist?

I've been afraid a couple of times. When Christopher was 3 we were at the beach in Maine and he disappeared. There were at least 14 adults to watch our then 8 children. Our beach chairs were formed in a large semi-circle so that we could all monitor the vast area of play the children called their own.

But sometimes you get to talking and looking at the person next to you and sometimes your eyes come off your child. And when you realize that your baby is not with his cousins and no where near to be found you panic like you have never panicked before. And you fear the worst of all possible thoughts. That your little cherubic towhead that calls you Momma and says "I lot you" 24 times a day is missing. Lost. Lost among the miles and miles of shore and sand. Lost among the miles and miles of ocean, deep, blue and powerful. And you do what you can to prevent from breaking down and cracking up. And sobbing deep uncontrollable sobs. You need to stay focused and together as impossible as it sounds. You make a note of what your child was wearing so that you can tell the police. Suddenly you hate this place that you've considered Heaven on Earth. You have no idea what you would do if you had to return home one less child. How you will function the rest of your life. You know you will never survive. It is amazing how quickly thoughts can form and implode within and take over your your entire being. And then your husband grabs his binoculars and finds your son, playing happily on the sand about a half a mile down the beach. Your baby has no idea that he is lost or missing. He is happily going about his way. You are so happy that you burts in to tears and want to throw up.

Until recently that was the most terrifying moment of my life.

Children change everything.

And this is how I felt these past two weeks. Try with all your heart and soul to banish the bad thoughts and to concentrate on happy, positive thoughts... you just can't. You worry for yourself and others around you. It's natural. You worry for your children. Granted, you're always worrying about your children. But this time it is different.

You worry about who will take care of them the way you do and who will hug them and kiss them and be tender to them... you worry about how they will feel and act and be ... you worry about their sadness. It cannot be helped. If you have children you worry. End of story.

And you worry about them without you. Because their lives will be so very different. Because you know that no one in this world can do what you do. In the way that you do. Because even the best of fathers lose patience. Because even the best of fathers cannot do what mothers do. No one can. And I think about this a lot over the course of two weeks. And how I pretty much do it all.

I am up with them in the middle of the night. At least once a week. And in the morning I am the one that gets them up, dressed, ready for school, make sure they have all their books, papers that have been signed, sports uniforms, prepared for their tests and off to school. The I come home and tidy up the kitchen and tidy the house and do the laundry. And when I am not working on the wrapping paper drive or the wine tasting for the school, then I might meet up with a friend for a short bit. I have to get the groceries, plan and make the meals, buy their clothes, buy their Birthday party presents. Take them to their Birthday parties. And their after school activities and their sporting events. Then I come home and make dinner and help them with their homework and prep them for their tests, and play with the little one and serve dinner and clean up after dinner. And talk to them about their day and get them settled and ready for bed after the end of the day.

I am the one who has the patience when one misbehaves. Or if a fight ensues. Or something accidentally gets broken. I can forgive the minor things. I feed them properly and make sure that they are dressed properly. I am with them when they are not in school or at friend's houses. I play with them when the husband is working on the house, around the house, at the office or paying bills or watching TV.

I worry about my oldest who is starting to turn in to a young woman. My oldest who needs me right now. I worry about my middle one. My big boy who is still very much a Momma's boy. Who still cuddles me and kisses me and tells me he loves me for no reason. He still sometimes says "I lot you Momma!" He is a good boy. He is the angel of the family and the peacemaker. He is the one, like his Mommy, who tends to keep things bottled up inside. He is the super sensitive one. He is the one I think would be most effected and affected should something happen to me. He is my brilliant child who will one day to aspire to and reach greatness. He is pure joy. He is pure love. And then there is the baby of the family. At four Alexander is much more dependant on me than the other two ever were. He cries himself to sleep at night because he will miss me. And he crawls in to bed at some point in the wee hours of the morning and places his cold little feet on my back and tells me that he missed me in his sleep. He loves school and is thriving there with his friends. He has a crush on his teacher. But sometimes, at the end of the day, he'll greet me with a sad face and I will ask him what's the matter and he'll say "I was sad because I missed you today." And I tell him that I will always be there to pick him up from school and I will always give him a hug and a kiss when I do.

And I think about these things and think to myself that I must have done something right!

And then for two very long and agonizing weeks I wonder if this is really the case. I wonder if I am lying because this is not something I would ever want to lie about.

And I know that their father simply could not do all that I do. And I know that the kids would forever be altered.

And then I think of all the things that I would miss... Birthdays and Christmases and sports wins and academic achievements and first boyfriends and first girlfriends... and it amazes me at how quickly the thoughts invade my brain and how this fear and unknown are all consuming.

And I know that while my kids drive me positively batty and absoulely insane, they are the world to me. And to be without them would be positively unbearable.

I've been short, curt and distracted and unable to explain to them why. They've been shafted of my attention. And when they were talking to me I wasn't really there. I was elsewhere, in another zone, lost in my thoughts and fears.

And so often they want to talk about something, sometimes trivial sometimes not... and so often I'll tell them "later" or "in a minute" or "not right now" because it is the end of the day and I am burnt, worn out and frazzled. And I can't do that anymore. I need to find the time to sit and talk with them, let them express their thoughts and emotions and fears. I need to find the time to be with them individually. It's so important. Because we never really do know what fate has in store for us, do we?

I knew this was going to happen. I knew it was going to be a day or two before I could digest all that I had been feeling and going through. I've been sick for nearly 24 hours now. At first I thought it was a stomach bug. I am pretty sure, now, that it's just the result from all the jumbled up nerves and stress I have been feeling and bottling up inside.

I couldn't jump up and shout hooray yesterday... but today I can and tomorrow I will celebrate!

I wanted to let you all know that everything is FINE.

The Doctor went over all my ultrasounds and mammograms from these past visits to years past. It seems there will always be questionable areas (oh joy!) and they will be monitoring me very closely from here on in. I will see the doctor again after my next mammogram and ultrasound in 6 months.

It hasn't hit me yet. I am not jumping up and down. I haven't run out to get my champagne. Truthfully I am fairly numb. I think my nerves and fear got the best of me -- I think they had a stronghold on me and I was unaware. I am so exhausted and drained from 2 weeks of worry, no sleep and little food. I am sure I will experience and want to jump for joy as soon as my body gets some rest and nourishment.

I thought I was done crying. But I am not. I am crying for happiness and the immense relief I feel. While I shared so much with you all, I still kept a good bit bottled up inside and I think it all needs to find a way out. (Will I be nervous like this every six months for the rest of my life?) I am also crying for all of you who cared so much to leave comments and send me messages and email. For all of you who shared your stories with me. And I guess I feel a bit guilty that my outcome is a happy one. Everyone should be so lucky.

What I really need is a nap. But alas I have a full afternoon ahead of me... and so onward and upward...

Seems fitting for today...

Good thing I had lots on my plate to keep me busy. My kitchen table became my print shop as I created and printed the invitations and reply cards for the annual wine tasting that I am co-chairing for the childrens' school.



Alexander did some work on his computer as well!


While the printer was buzzing and printing away I had some time to have fun and play! I am so addicted to World Cafe on Facebook. Seriously this game is like crack. And since I had to sit in front of the printer for hours, I had some time to cook in my cafe! Do you like my Pink & Green Cafe? Do you like the name I chose for it? The Gimlet! Have you noticed I have a good wine and drink collection? It seemed to be a slow customer day though. I hope it picks up tomorrow.




The invitations came out really well. Tomorrow afternoon I'll meet with a team of friends to finish putting the cards together, stuffing envelopes, and attach mailing labels. It won't take long. I'm sure plenty will come. I bribed them with a treat. I was going to make the pumpkin and chocolate swirl cake (on The EntertainingKitchen) but didn't have everything I needed. So I opted to make brownies. Not the real ones. Just the ones from the box because I needed to do so quickly. But I did use those chocolate and mint Nestle morsels in them and I did sneak a bite... and they are pretty good... I'm sure the girls will be happy!

As you know tomorrow is my Big Day... I will keep you posted...